Stealing Food and Attachment Disorder

Penny Davis explains:

• Even though the children have been with your partner for over 3 years, their early years likely involved trauma, neglect, or multiple moves. This shapes behaviors like hoarding or stealing food.
• Young children develop implicit survival strategies in the limbic brain, which may not make logical sense to adults.
• Hoarding or stealing food often reflects unmet needs or fear of scarcity, not lack of discipline or love.

• Treat the behavior as a symptom of unmet need—do not punish. Address the underlying need instead.
• Ask curiosity questions: “What do you remember about food when you were little?” or “How does your tummy feel when you’re hungry?”
• Engage in problem-solving: “What were you trying to accomplish by taking the food?” or “What might be a better way to make sure you have food?”
• Provide reassurance and security: Allow children access to food in a safe way, e.g., a backpack with non-perishable items or a drawer at home. Reinforce messages like “I love you and there will always be enough food for you.”
• Recognize that new environments (like summer camp) may re-trigger past fears and behaviors.