Thumb Sucking

Penny Davis explains:

• Thumb-sucking at age 2–3 is a self-soothing behavior and provides a sense of security.
• Children at this age are developing autonomy; they want to feel some control over their lives.
• Punitive approaches often lead to power struggles, resentment, and resistance.
• Attention, both positive and negative, can reinforce the habit; the child may use it to gain special attention.

• Stop paying attention to thumb-sucking; only notice her feelings and security needs. Example: “I know sucking your thumb helps you feel safe. When you are ready to stop, you will. I love you either way.”
• Spend daily one-on-one time (even 10–15 minutes) doing activities she enjoys to reinforce her sense of importance and belonging.
• Offer limited choices to promote autonomy and avoid power struggles: e.g., “Do you want cereal or toast?” or “Walk or shall I carry you?”
• Encourage contribution: let her help fold laundry, set the table, or carry items. Small responsibilities build confidence.
• Gradual behavior change: allow the child to set small goals, e.g., thumb-sucking only at home, then only at bedtime, using cues like a finger on your nose to remind her.
• Read Positive Discipline resources for strategies and reinforcement: Positive Discipline and Positive Discipline, The First Three Years.
• Encourage autonomy, self-esteem, and gradual self-control rather than using fear or punishment.