Bullying Siblings

Boys often compare, compete, and test boundaries. Some conflict is normal, some is habitual. Siblings seek attention, significance, and engagement—even through bickering or rough play.

Recognizing these patterns helps you decide how to respond effectively.

You can’t control the boys’ feelings or actions, only your responses. Use Positive Discipline principles to guide them rather than just reacting to incidents.

• Decide what behavior is acceptable and model respectful interactions.
• Avoid blaming or shaming; focus on solutions and skill-building.

Family meetings are a powerful tool to teach conflict resolution and cooperation:

• Gather the family, make it fun, offer refreshments.
• Share appreciations and notice positive behaviors.
• Discuss concerns calmly, avoiding blame or past grievances.
• Validate everyone’s feelings and listen attentively.
• Role-play recent conflicts and brainstorm alternative responses.
• Encourage creative and even silly solutions; write them down.
• Agree on one solution to try for a week, then review.

Focus on teaching effective social skills and fostering positive relationships:

• Recognize and affirm each child’s strengths.
• Encourage negotiation and problem-solving.
• Use role-playing to practice alternative ways of interacting.
• Provide reinforcement and encouragement for progress, even small steps.

When conflicts happen outside with friends:

• Observe calmly without escalating the situation.
• Address issues privately later, during family meetings.
• Teach the older child empathy and perspective-taking.
• Reinforce the importance of respecting siblings even in social settings.