Stepfamilies: Help for a Dad and His Stepson

Cheryl Erwin explains:

• The 2-year-old’s behavior is age-appropriate; preschoolers need guidance, distraction, and redirection to learn boundaries.
• The 7-year-old is not an adult; he is adjusting to new family dynamics, including a stepdad and new siblings. Expecting adult-level behavior is unrealistic.
• Children need a sense of belonging and significance. Stepchildren may misbehave if they feel out of place or discouraged.
• Punishment does not solve the underlying issue and can create resentment.

• Focus on connection before correction. The stepdad and child should spend 10–15 minutes of “special time” together daily to build relationship and respect.
• Offer encouragement. Notice what your son does well and give credit when he tries; constant criticism is discouraging.
• Understand discipline vs. punishment: Discipline teaches, punishment enforces. Taking away toys does not teach behavior.
• Have respectful conversations about rules. Ensure your son understands expectations clearly.
• Hold regular family meetings to share appreciation, encouragement, and solve problems collaboratively.
• Consider stepfamily parenting classes or reading Positive Discipline books together to support consistency and understanding.